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Dear readers,

You have come to trust and respect Nourish! for the quality, taste, and ease of our recipes, and it is with a heavy heart that we must report that we have betrayed that trust. One of our recipes has contained a grievous error, and for that we must apologize.

It has been brought to our attention that one of our recipes, Spelt Revantusk with sardines and prosciutto, has been brought to print with an error. In particular, where the recipe should have called for orcish pepper, it instead called for orcish people.

We apologize to the orcs (especially Thur’kon, who is currently holding a blade to my throat – hi Thur’kon!) and to our readers. The peon responsible for both writing and editing that article (we are a bit short-staffed) has been sacrificed to Mal’ganis

The editor responsible for the previous sentence, as well as the peon mentioned, have been sold for competition in the gladiatorial

Well, now we’re really short-staffed.

We hope that we can rebuild your trust and faith in us. The recipe in question has been withdrawn and all existing copies have been destroyed. In the meantime, we invite you to read the rest of our recipes and we ask for your comments and questions regarding any of them.

With our apologies (Thur’kon, you can put the sword down now),
The Nourish! Editorial Staff

The tauren cook looked up as the sound of cheering met her ears. Even muffled by the walls of the traders’ longhouse, the sound of a successful hunt returning to Bloodhoof was unmistakable. But there was something else, an undertone that set Mit’s neckfur on end, and as she listened, ignoring the pot in front of her, it became clear: one of the hunters had done something special.

Mit rushed to the door of the longhouse and peered out. On the shoulders of the crowd rode Tharake, one of the youngest hunters in the tribe, back from only his second hunt. He was holding his spear aloft, blood staining the flint tip. Behind him, the crowd held up his trophy kill, and Mit grinned as she recognized the characteristic pink feathers. Only a novice hunter would be that bold. But now the path from Bloodhoof to Thunder Bluff would be safer.

And Bloodhoof Village would eat well tonight…

Mazzranuggets

Mm, chicken bits.
These are simple and quick to make – the longest step is “heat the oil” – and great for feeding huge numbers of people on short notice. It’s also pretty cheap, especially since it largely uses common pantry ingredients. If you have leftover nuggets, they can be refrigerated for several days or frozen for up to a week, and make an excellent base for Kissless’ Chicken Quickie.

Ingredients

  • 2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breast
  • 1 c white flour
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 tsp garlic pepper
  • 1/4 c fresh tarragon
  • 2 T olive oil
  • 2 T unsalted butter

Directions

  1. Chop the chicken into nugget-sized chunks (about 1″x1″x1/2″). Place into a sealable plastic bag.
  2. Place the flour, salt, and garlic pepper into the bag as well. Seal it and shake vigorously until the chicken chunks are coated.
  3. Heat the oil and butter in a large frying pan over medium heat.
  4. When the butter has fully melted and mixed with the oil, place the breaded chicken chunks into the pan. (Don’t just dump them out, unless you want surprise dumplings.) After you’re sure all the chunks are out, discard the bag, flour and all.
  5. Sauté the chicken for 10-15 minutes, turning occasionally to ensure that all sides are evenly cooked. You want the chicken to get a nice golden-brown on the outside and be white all the way through.
  6. When the chicken is finished cooking (see above), cover a plate with a paper towel or cheesecloth and place the chicken on the towel/cloth to cool for 1-2 minutes.
  7. Serve with whatever condiments you enjoy with chicken. (I eat mine plain; my wife and son, with ketchup.)

Comments? Questions? Leave them below!

Chris lives on Twitter and, occasionally, at his blog Duct Tape and a Prayer. You may email him by sending a note to chris @ etherjammer DOT com.

Pumpkin seeds

These are a pleasant byproduct of carving the jack o’lanterns that appear throughout Azeroth during the Hallow’s End festival. The farms in the south of Elwynn Forest provide the majority of the pumpkins used for the lanterns, and one farm in particular, run by the Stonefield family, is known both for the size of their pumpkins and the quality of their roasted seeds.

This snack takes a little less than an hour and a half to make, all told; most of that is the roasting.

Ingredients

  • The seeds from one medium pumpkin
  • 1 tsp ground nutmeg
  • 1 tsp ground allspice
  • 1/2 tsp ground cloves
  • 2 tbsp salt

You can substitute twice as much of any whole spice – remove the cloves from their stems – and reduce them with a spice grinder or mortar and pestle.

Directions

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 275 degrees.
  2. Extract the seeds from the pumpkin, and remove them from their strands. Discard as much of the pulp and meat of the pumpkin as you can.
  3. Place the seeds in a fine collander and wash thoroughly, removing the remaining pulp.
  4. Dry the seeds lightly with a cloth or paper towel, and spread evenly on a baking sheet.
  5. Sprinkle the spices and half of the salt over the seeds.
  6. Place the seeds in the oven and bake for 1 hour.
  7. When the seeds are roasted, sprinkle the remaining salt over the seeds. Serve while warm!

Today is Ranid‘s birthday. He often has cravings for cheese and wine, but today we’re going to bring him something special instead. Take the Aged Dalaran Limburger from the shelves at “One More Glass” and combine it with a Tundra Onion and some Silvermoon Macaroni (ask any Blood Elf in Dalaran with a feather in his or her hat), and bring the results to Ranid at the Leatherworkers shop in Dalaran.

Don’t bring him any wine, though. The innkeepers – and Ranid’s wife – are starting to complain.


Ingredients

  • 3 tbsp (42.5g) unsalted butter
  • 3 tbsp (42.5g) all-purpose flour
  • 3 cups (70cl) milk
  • 4 quarts (3.75l) water
  • 1 lb (450g) radiatore pasta
  • 12 oz (340g) sharp cheddar
  • 4 oz (115g) feta
  • 1 large (large) onion
  • Salt and pepper to taste

You may use any sort of small pasta you like. (This doesn’t work as well with long pastas like spaghetti.) The quest calls for Limburger, but since mosquitos can’t tell the difference between Limburger and human feet, you’re getting cheddar, with feta in to simulate the texture of Limburger.

Directions

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 350F/180C.
  2. In a large pot, boil the water. (This is becoming a trend.)
  3. While the water is boiling, dice the onion and grate the cheddar. (You may, alternately, buy pre-grated or shredded cheddar, but you still have the dice the onion.)
  4. When the water boils, add the pasta and cook according to the package. (Usually about 10 minutes.)
  5. Over very low heat in a separate saucepan, melt the butter. If the butter turns brown, start over with new butter.
  6. When the butter is molten, add the flour and stir until the lumps smooth out.
  7. Gradually stir 1 cup of milk into the butter/flour mixture. Continue stirring until the new lumps smooth out. (Adding the milk chills the butter/flour mixture, which makes it clump up because of the way starches work.)
  8. Add the other 2 cups of milk to the sauce. The new milk shouldn’t make it any lumpier. Stir until the sauce has returned to its higher temperature in accordance with prophecy the heat of the burner.
  9. Add both kinds of cheese and let the cheddar melt. (The feta will not melt as readily; don’t worry about it.)
  10. When the pasta is done, drain it and immediately transfer it to a large casserole dish. (Mine’s 9″x13″ – 23cmx33cm.)
  11. Toss the diced onion liberally over the pasta.
  12. When the cheese has fully melted, pour the sauce over the pasta and onions. It will settle to the bottom. This is okay. Toss the pasta in the sauce.
  13. Cover the casserole in aluminum foil. Place in the oven and bake for 30 minutes.

Serve immediately.

Special thanks to Diane Clahsen! In her Aussie honor we’ve included metric conversions in this recipe.

We all know that Hemet Nesingwary is a hunter par excellĂ©nce. He’ll kill any game alive, in the jungles of Stranglethorn Vale, the meadows of Nagrand, or the rainforest of Sholazar – and when he’s done killing a beast, he’ll skin and cook it too, for good measure. Surprisingly, Hemet’s actually a pretty good cook, given that he spends most of his time hunting. Then again, his cooking tool of choice is the spit, and that doesn’t require as much skill as it does patience and tolerance for a singed beard.

Mrs. Una Nesingwary, as you can probably imagine, eats a lot of meat, especially now that her son, Hemet Jr., has taken over operations in Stranglethorn. It’s always a bit of a relief when she sees Hemet off at the Deeprun Tram, helps Hemet Jr. get his bags onto the gryphon at the Great Forge, and settles back in at their little apartment in the Hall of Explorers for a nice night of not having to explain to anyone why she doesn’t want thirds of Elekk Steak, Medium Rare, with a side of Giraffe Bacon.

Her friends call the dish she cooks that first night after the Hemets have left on their months-long excursions “Hemet’s Departure” (she was cooking it long before Hemet Jr. was born); she just calls it “my secret recipe”, largely because neither Hemet has any idea that the meat they’re sending back is going directly into the freezer at Amberstill Ranch.


Hemet’s Departure

Ingredients:

  • 4 packages of ramen noodles, one packet for each serving you want to make plus one. This recipe assumes three servings
  • 3 spice packets from the ramen; one packet of spices per serving. You’ll end up with one packet left over
  • 2 large broccoli crowns, chopped into individual florets. A floret larger than 1″ should be chopped in half
  • 2 pounds of tofu, chopped into 1/4″ cubes
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 4 tbsp soy sauce
  • 2 tbsp peanut butter
  • 1 clove garlic
  • 6 1/4c water
  • 1 tbsp brown sugar

Directions:

  1. Combine the peanut butter, 2 tbsp of soy sauce, the garlic, 1/4c of the water, and the brown sugar in a microwave-safe bowl. Mix as well as you can (a plunging beater works well) and microwave for 1 minute on high. Once this is in the microwave you can forget about it until later in the recipe.
  2. Using a crab hammer, a rolling pin, or something else that makes a satisfying thunk when you whack it against a counter (do not use a knife handle!), crumble the ramen while it is still in the package. Don’t reduce it to dust, just make sure that it’s not long strands. You want little noodle bits for this.
  3. Boil the water.
  4. You probably thought I was joking.
  5. While the water is coming to a boil, heat a wok or large skillet over medium heat. Add the olive oil and half the remaining soy sauce. When the oil begins to sizzle, add the drained, chopped tofu. Stir constantly.
  6. When the water boils, add the ramen but not the spice packets and cook for three minutes.
  7. When there’s about a minute left on the ramen, add the broccoli to the skillet. Continue stirring.
  8. Drain the ramen in a collander with fine holes. Add the ramen, the ramen spice, and the remaining soy sauce to the skillet and combine with the tofu and broccoli.
  9. Remove the peanut sauce from the microwave and stir well, for about 30 seconds. Then add it to the skillet and mix it in.
  10. Cook the contents of the skillet for another 2-3 minutes, stirring constantly.
  11. Remove from heat and serve immediately.

Hi!

If you’re like me, you’re wondering, “what happened to Nourish!? I adored that blog, and I wanted to give the authors lots of money and millions of hits a day, but they haven’t updated for two weeks!”

(Okay, that middle part might be wishful thinking.)

And it’s true. We haven’t updated since June 17, which in Internet terms is like not updating since 1984. We do have awfully good reasons, though, I promise. I’ve been moving house and dealing with illness, Pix has been on a much-needed and well-earned vacation, and Anea answers to no man so we really have no idea what she’s been up to even though we keep asking. (This is like the Witch-King of Angmar, so I bet we could get her to talk by getting one of our female friends to ask, but Cadistra won’t help would have helped but we assumed she was too busy with her comic that you all should be reading, and Jezriyah’s been distracted by her new boyfriend.) Also, we prefer to post recipes with pictures, and because of all of this vacationing in Bora Bora and visiting the doctor every third day and answering to no man, we really haven’t done a whole lot of cooking recently, so we haven’t had anything to take pictures of.

Not to worry, though! We’ll be back in action very soon. Here’s a preview:

3. Boil the water.

Isn’t that exciting? I can’t wait!

Until next time,
Your friendly neighborhood Cheferman
Chris

“Nourish!, food blog. A blog, barely out of its infancy. Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first* bionic blog. Nourish! will be that blog. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, faster.”

  1. In order to have more flexibility and control over the blog, we’ve moved to a full WordPress install. The new address is http://nourishmenu.thestorythusfar.com/ – but then, if you’re reading this you probably already know that.
  2. We have a Twitter account. It will be the world’s first* bionic Twitter account, fully integrated with this blog but capable of direct human interaction as well. You can find it at @NourishMenu.

This blog post will self-destruct in fifteen seconds**.

* May not be actual first.
** Post may not self-destruct.